Here it is. Steve's account of our interesting Hastings gig at The Crypt on 18/08/05..

Gig was good, very eventful, I'll attempt to summarise.

4pm - Left for gig, took most of 3 hours reasonably un eventful. Apart from a different tale regarding directions and bears, but I wont go into it.

6.30-ish - Stopped near gig venue to ask where to park, James got back in car, car didn't start. Pushed car to convenient space.

8.30-ish - Played gig to appx 50-100 people. Mostly 14-17 year olds, going mental, they were fantastic. Oh and we had some groupies. ;-) (which is unusual because, as you can see in the ‘pics’ section of the website, we’re not the most photogenic bunch) [Speak for yourself! - james]

10-ish - Call RAC. and try to find off licence as told we'll be waiting for 2 hours. Offie's closed. Only place to eat or drink - local 'babary.

11.30-ish - RAC bloke comes, his professional opinion is that "it's fucked". So we try to arrange tow, RAC say they will not do it on James cover, but we get a quote from another company - £300 !! We attempt to find another way.

11.50-ish - Praise the lord. Kai's cover is fine so we arrange a tow.

12-ish - Black bloke walks out of 'babary and punches some 18 year old -twice, appears to have broken nose, 18 year old taken away in ambulance.

12.15-ish - James states - "to add insult to injury, I bet one of those seagulls shits on my car."

12.17-ish - Seagull shits on James’ car.

1am-ish - Flat bed tow passes us and asks police officer (there from punch up earlier) how to get to the other end of this road.

1.01 am - James Kai and Steve can be seen running towards flat bed waving frantically. He'd missed us despite having to drive around us. We managed to persuade him that we are broken down.

1.15-ish - Standing near to car, Kai is approached by some druggy looking bloke who absolutely fucked. He tries to kiss Kai. Kai pulls away and says "easy mate!!!" James states "I'll be chuckling for a long time about that, he looked so put out!" [i still am - james]

1.30-ish - Get in flat bed's cab and await for car to be fixed on etc.. I look to my left, there's 'fucked bloke' in a doorway looking fucked - Like he had no idea of his name. [i think we've all been there. Well, maybe not the kissing Kai bit - james]

1.33 - Fucked bloke gets up, stumbles towards the cab and falls on the bonnet, hands splayed on the windscreen. One of the funniest pictures ever - he looked ever so surprised to be there! [according to the driver, some chick wanted to hitch a ride with us to southampton. unfortunately there was some bloke approaching so the driver declined. - james]

1.45 - set off on 3 hour journey back to the 'ton.

2.00 - Driver gets a bit lost in Hastings, we start playing pub cricket, James complains coz he's out on the same pub as Kai - this is due to the fact we're going around in circles (i knew the motorway route was better - james)

2.30 - Stop at petrol station, collect supplies - its been a long night. Find out while we're there that both doors on the passenger side don't close. The driver 'Mick' ties one shut with a piece of rope, my one however, is left as it's not quite flying open.

2.45 - James notices smell of rubber.

2.55 - Tyre blows on flat bed. We roll into a lay by somewhere between Brighton and Worthing.

3.05 - Driver calls tyre changing company, and passes out.

3.15 - I have sudden realisation that when tyre blew ( which can cause spin) I was leaning forward , belt off, trying to take Kai's picture. Kai had passed out on James’ shoulder. If the wagon span, I very well may have flown out of the door.

3.16 - Steve changes his trousers.

4.00 - Tyre bloke turns up. changes tyre. I have to find James as he had wondered off down the lay by amusing himself by "walking in different unusual ways!" (my favourite was 'walking on the moon' - james)

4.30 - Back on our way, we all start to feel it, I drop off for a moment.

5.00 ish - Woken up by this (what I thought was) hissing noise. I turns out to be Armageddon in the form of a storm, we can't see 2 foot in front of the lorry. There's 1/2 of water in some places. - Crazy.

5.15 ish -. Still absolutely pissing down, some spray on the other carriageway (going in the other direction) catches my eye. By the time I look up there's a sweeping lorry going sideways down the motorway at about 60 MPH.

5.17 - Three fire engines fly past. ( in the other direction)

6.30 - Get dropped off. Home. [yeah, leaving me to unload all the gear in the pissing down rain. cunts - james]

7ish - Passed out till 16.00 in afternoon. [i got woken up at midday by the phone. double cunts - james]

 

*prolonged reading of footnotes may cause impotence.